Retail

Well reading through Dana's blog, and her experience through retail, I felt my need to add my own view.

Retail is insane. You work weekends, holidays, and the schedule is not set in stone. Also the added aggravation from customers. Why is it so hard to find inteligent, understanding customers?

CLASSICS:

customer: ok I bought this here, but I cant seem to make it work.
me: well yeah, you need to buy these other parts to set a network.
customer: BUT YOU SOLD IT, I demand these other parts be free. They should have been included with this item in the first place.
me: well when I buy condoms at 7-11, I don't demand it comes with a free woman, just because they sold them.

customer: my computer crashes, i think its overheating.
me: ok its $100 for diagnostics and repair.
customer: but I know what is the problem.
me: well its a flat rate of any labor we do on the unit.
customer: but I already know the problem.
me: if you are so sure its overheating, and you know what is the problem, why are you bringing it here?
me: why dont you fix it yourself, YOU KNOW THE PROBLEM.

customer: i bought this wireless card here for my laptop and its not working.
me: do you have an internet service provider?
customer: no
me: oh, so you want this thing to magically connect to some FREE internet service, anywhere, anytime huh?

customer: can you help me with this?
me: no
customer: why not?
me: huh, because I'm on my day off? I'm just purchasing something as a "customer"?

customer: Are you korean?
me: uh, yeah, somewhat.
customer: can you install this for me, for free?
me: why do every korean think that there is some kind of "KOREAN BROTHERHOOD" where we help each other? We charge for install, and you are just another customer/stranger.

customer: you are no help
me:no you are being helped, though the help is beyond you intellectual level for you to comprehend.

customer: You guys are assholes!
me: no, you are the one being the asshole just because you can't have it your way.

customer: my computer is still slow.
me: did you do anything to it since you got it back from us?
customer: no
me: yea right, the computer left clean of virus now its reinfected with a lot of virus because you been visiting porn sites.
customer: i visit no such sites.
me: right, the webrowser history says otherwise.

customer: why did the back up took so long.
me: well there was a LOT of data to back up.
customer: im not paying for the data back up, you guys took too long.
me: well 250GB of porn is not exactly 1 hour deal.
customer: what do you mean porn? I dont have porn.
me: yes you do, such as buttbangingtrailer1.mpg
customer: no i dont.
me: ok, 250GB of porn just downloaded itself to your computer by the "porn fairy"

customer: i want to make sure you understand this is not my computer, im representing the owner of the computer, and leaving it for repairs here on his behalf.
me: (blink eye) your secret about the gay porn in YOUR computer is safe with me.

customer: how can i make my laptop run faster?
me: well you can add memory, but you can only go so far, if you want faster laptop you need to purchase a new/faster laptop, since CPUs on laptop cannot be upgraded.
customer: good answer, but not the expert answer I was expecting.
me: and you are expert enough to know if my reply wasnt expertly enough?