At first, I just wanted to go out and drink, but it would not be safe for me to do it solo. Also going out Monday night? Not like there is anything to do out there. Friends? I already annoyed them to death with my problems the past weekend. They deserve some time off.
The only thing left was to try to forget by sleeping off. Aware that I haven't eaten anything in last 24 hours, I knew if I hit the gym I would be really tired. So that I did. Once back, I took a quick shower, changed clothes, put my headphones and tried to sleep listening to Bach.
I was able to fall asleep fairly fast.
Then I have dream. I was somewhere on an inauguration of an art gallery in France. I met with Alan, Misha and a woman that was supposedly his new wife. It seemed that this was a couple of years ahead in the future. I talk to both of them to catch up with what has been going on in the last couple of years. Alan supposedly had started some kind of business in Ecuador, while Misha had moved to UK with the love of his life. It was very pleasing to me to see Misha truly happy with her. Just like when he graduated from Georgetown, he had his nervous, yet genuine smile, and sparkles in his eyes. Me? Well I was working as a network administrator in some company in DC. By my side was somewhat of an odd company. I can't say I was married because every time I looked my side, there would be a black void with a woman silhouette holding my arm. I would probably have freaked out if I saw that, but I seemed calm and ok , even people around didn't seem to see a problem.
Me, Misha and Alan kept talking about things we've been doing in our own lives in the past years, and plans for the future. I was happy to see my friends, well and happy, so it goes without saying, I was really enjoying the encounter. At one point I excuse myself to go to the restrooms. Supposedly the restrooms were on the bottom floor where you would have to use this spiraling down grand staircase. The restrooms signs also indicated the same. So I'm going down the stairs but once you reach the bottom, it seems you are back where you started, giving it a perpetual cycling staircase feeling. Good example would be from Ascending and Descending from M.C. Escher, however the staircase was much steeper to a point where you could not see the top from the bottom, and the lighting was dim, and the bottom was pitch black. After many minutes going down from it, I kept seeing the same people over and over down, the ones I suppose, where going to the restrooms as well. They too were stuck in this limbo of perpetual stairs. But with each passing cycle they seemed a couple of years older, until they reached old age and were frail old people.
Suddenly I reach bottom, and everything vanishes, just like in the theaters, when they turn of the lights around and put a strong spotlight straight up from the thespian. I could see myself, but nothing around, it was just black void of nothing. I panic and start running around in random directions, yet I don't reach or see anything. After many minutes running into random direction, I reach a wall, which I run along it, and find a red metal door. Once I go through it, I'm outside the museum, on a back alley. The door was a back exit for the museum. I spot shadows and silhouettes on nearby dumpster, and I immediately think that it might be thieves or worse. But no, they are just silhouettes. That scene from the movie Ghost, would be a perfect example. They advance towards me, they chase me and tries to hold me down, slowly pulling me towards the shadow of the dark alley. While this is happening, the headphones that I was using for the sleep, appears in my dream around my head, and from it I hear erratic devilish voices coming from it.
I'm trying to wake up, I see my living room, from within my body, so as I try to "get out of my body" to my living room, the silhouettes kept pulling me back to the dream, and I would fall back into the backalley in France. And the dreaded erratic devilish voices trying to tell me something I could not understand. After some struggle I was able to "get out from my body" and wake up. Erratic devilish voices fades back to Bach while I'm slightly panting.
Everyone knows I hardly dream, and it even rarer for me to have a nightmare. So obviously I cannot go back to sleep. Thus I'm spending my time writing this down. Interesting though, that while searching for the perpetual stair, because I could not remember M.C. Escher name off hand, the first result for perpetual stair on Google is titled "Journey to Hell". Maybe I'm going to hell, eventually.
I don't know, the last 2 months it's been very bad for me. Emotionally I'm somewhat exhausted, or it could be imbalance of chemicals in my body because in those 2 months I been living a very unhealthy lifestyle. I hardly eat, sometimes skipping meals for over 24 hours, I hardly sleep, sleeping on average 2-3 hours a day, drinking enormous amounts of alcohol during weekends. Sure I go to gym a lot, but when I'm not getting any food nor sleep, I think it does more harm than good.
Well behave kids.
PS: The picture is Ascending and Descending by M.C. Escher.
1 comment:
Gui,
Interesting dream. Very infrequently we have these types of explosive dreams which when you wake up you really feel that something important has happened even if you don't know what. Lot's of thing struck me about your dream, as it was well remembered and well narrated. Your perception of the future might be based upon your subconscious idea of where you are going and where your friends are going even if it doesn't turn out to be true, that is what you see for the future. Then with the stairs, as we are all going around and around and getting older, that makes sense, you are seeing your friends age. I don't have a guess for the rest. It's all interesting though.
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