AZN Pryde (god these people are retarded.)

So I was looking on the net for this things called "AZN" or "AZN Pryde"
It basically means Asian or Asian Pride.

"Hi To AlL. I'M SorRy If ANy of ThIS StufF OffEnd'S AnyONe. I JusT PuT IT HerE FoR ThE FuN Of iT" Was the "disclaimer" at the top of the website.

Asian pride consists of being proud that you type like a retard? It's embarassing. This type of writing is comnon among "AZN" people. Which I denounce them as not someone of my race, asian.

The website had a list of things that would classify as an "ASIAN".

YoU KNoW You'Re aSiaN iF......" (the retarded writing again)
1. Your mother has a short-haired, curly perm. (yes)
2. Your dad is some sort of engineer. (no, he majored in chemistry)
3. Your parents still tried to get you into places half-price saying you were 12 when you were really 15. (no)
4. You ask your parents for help on ONE math problem, and 2 hours later they're still lecturing. (no I never asked them for help with school work. but my father do like to give sermons)
5. You have a 40 lb. bag of rice in your pantry (yes)
6. You shop 99 Ranch (no clue what that is)
7. Everyone thinks you're "Chinese" no matter what part of Asia your ancestors were from (no at first people in Rio thought I was from Japan)
8. You've had a bowl haircut at one point in your life. (unless you were curly from birth, the couple of first stages of your hair is somewhat bowl type, but other than that, no I never had bowl cut)
9. Your parents enjoy comparing you to their friends' kids. (yes)
10. You've had to sit through karaoke videos with scantily clad, ugly Asian women attempting to dance and walk around a temple, forest, or library. (no)
    
11. Your parents say, "Don't forget your heritage". (yes)
12. You drive mostly Japanese cars. (I drive Japanese car because it's cheap, not because I prefer Japanese car)
13. You've learned to keep bargaining even if the prices are rock bottom. (no, I don't like to bargain)
14. You've had to eat parts of animals they don't even put in hot dogs. (My parents do, I don't)
15. At least once, you've started a joke with "Confucius say..." (no, never)
16. You know what bok choy is. (no clue what that is)
17. You've ever gotten little red envelopes around February. (no, never)
18. Piles of shoes tend to make it hard to open the front, back and closet doors. (that is one of the few things I like about the asian culture, keeps the house clean. A couple of my non asian friends adopted that as well All you have to do is put the shoes in the closet and leave one pair out. There problem solved.)
19. You hear (Your name + eee (optional) + yah! ) every time someone calls you. (e.g., Jean-ee-yah! or Mary-yah!). ( from my parents somtimes, no one else though, not even my own brother, because our language of choice at home is Portuguese)
20. You have NO eyelids. (I have eyelids)
21. Idiot people try to impress you with pathetic imitation Asian languages, like the ever-so-popular: ching chong woo bok chi, etc.... (What?)
    
22. Your parents say leaving rice in your bowl is a sin. (No, they think its wasteful but no, not a sin, and we don't use bowls.)
23. The Bio lectures on marine life (seaweed, sea cucumbers, octopii) was last night's dinner. (There are only a very few marine stuff I eat, granted, more than the common non asian person, but I would not go as far to call "marine life". For example fish wise I only eat Salmon and Tuna, I don't eat any other fishes.)
24. Your ancestorame glasses. (what?)
25. Your parents hover over your tired, caffeine-drugged body at 12 midnight to say, "(in their native country), we studied more". (They don't hover but they do like to give the sermon about how they studied more.)
26. Your parents expect you'll be best friends with any one off the street in any given area as long as they are Asian. (They were like that at first, but seeing there were no asians in Rio, they dropped that a when I was still very young.)
27. An Asian woman comes on campus and people ask: "Is that your mother? Well then, is it your sister?" (When an Asian woman came to my school they immediately assumed she was my mother, and she was. There were no other asians in my school.)
28. Your relatives' houses smell like incense, mothballs or both (no)
29. Your parents say, "Calculus? I took Calculus in 8th grade!" (no, they just say they studied a lot)
30. Everyone thinks you're good at math. (I was good at math, I was placed in Gifted and Talented math class, but I hated it, today I suck at math.)
31. Your parents' vocabulary is filled with "Ai-yahs and Wah's". (My father only, because he still predominatly speaks korean, while my mother speaks mostly portuguese. Like I said portuguese is the language of choice at home.)
32. You like $1.75 movies. (whatever, I don't care)
33. You like $1.50 movies even more. (whatever, I don't care)
34. Your aunts and uncles bring you back adorable clothing from Asia with fuzzy bunnies, vinyl ducks and English words that make no sense, in great colors like yellow, pink, magenta, orange, and the ever so popular lime green. (My mother used to when she would go visit Korea, but I never wore any of them so she stopped when I was still very young. These days she rather take me out so I can choose the clothes when she comes visit me.)
    
35. Your parents insist you marry within your race. (My mother insists on it, my father only insists because my mother insists on it. My father has couple of friends that are married to caucasian wives)
36. You never order chop suey, sweet and sour pork, or any other imitation oriental food. (I never order because I never tried those, so I don't know if its good.)
37. You either really, really want to go to UCI or really, really want to stay away from it. (I have no clue what is UCI, I'm assuming University of California, Irvine. If that is it, I have no position regarding it because I never really heard much about it.)
38. Your parents have never kissed you. (My father only when I was still a baby, like I can see from the old pictures, my mother is a different story. Even now when she visits me, she wants want to hold hands and stuff when walking on the street. I'm 27 years old, but to her eyes I will always be an eternal baby.)
39. Your parents have never kissed each other. (I thought that way, until I asked them why I never seen them kiss, and they said they don't kiss in front of us "kids". So they kissed to shows us that they actually kiss. Never seen them kiss again, so I guess they got back to kissing on their own privacy.)
40. You learned about the birds and the bees from someone other than your parents. (Yes)
41. "You want a stereo!? When I was your age, I didn't even have shoes!" (Depends, if I asked for something obscenely expensive, like a Rolex, they would say that.)
42. People see a bunch of scribbles on a chopstick and ask you to translate. (no)
43. You have to call just about all your parent's friends "Auntie and Uncle". (no, I call them "sir")
44. You have 12+ aunts and uncles. (no, I have two aunts from my fathers side, and and three uncles from my mother's side.)
45. At expensive restaurants, you order a delicious glass of water for your beverage, and NEVER order dessert. (What the fuck is the point of going to an expensive restaurant if you are not going to spend any more, go the fuck to a cheap ass restaurant then. Enjoy eating well at a nice restaurat, if its only expensive and the food sucks, don't go again. So NO, I ask for a diet coke, because I drink that no matter where I got, and always check the dessert menu the the main course wasn't too fullfilling.)
46. Your parent simply cut the green/black part off the bread and say "Eat it anyway. It's still good". (why the hell would they do that? that is just gross.)
47. The vast majority of the people related to you wear glasses. Thick glasses. (only my brother does, or did, he swapped to contacts a long time ago.)
48. You will most likely be taller than your parents. (I'm taller than my mother, but same height as my father. But they "shrank with age. At their prime, my father was actually taller than what he is now, and my mother was probably my height.)
49. Your parents have either made you play the piano, the violin or both. (I wanted the to play the violin, but my mother wanted me to play the piano.)
50. You get nothing if you do well in school, but get crapped on if you don't. (true)
51. When going to other people's houses, you always have to bring a gift. (If I'm visiting the the friends parents, or someone I haven't seen in a long while, then yes, but if I'm dropping by a friend that I see often, no.)
52. Your dad still pulls his socks up to his knees, you know, the ones with the blue and pink stripes at the top. (I don't know, I don't "check" his dressing habits.)
53. Your family owns a tennis racket, golf clubs, or both. (Yes, because my parents, my brother and even myself were really into golf since early age. They still play, but I don't. Got tired of having the caddy carry around the golf bag, I rather have a golf cart so I don't have to walk, but that was a no no from my father.)
54. Your family always cheers for the Asian athlete on TV (i.e., Michael Chang, Kristine, etc…) (no my parents cheer for Korean athletes, other than that, who they like best.)
55. The furniture in your house never matches the wallpaper, the carpet, the decorations or any of the rest of the furniture. (Actually it does, they hired an interior decorator for it.)
56. You have rocks, sticks, leaves and strange-smelling, unknown substances in your pantry for use as medicine. (No, if for some odd reason I find it, I will throw it away.)
57. You own a rice cooker or two. (I own one, why would I own two? I eat rice, but not that much. Probably the same amount an non asian people would get by eating sushi often.)
58. You buy soy sauce by the gallon. (No, why would I?)
59. Your family owns butcher knives bigger than your head. (no)
60. Your parents tell you about how long it took for them to get to school, how horrible the weather was in their native country, and how much they still appreciated going. (Yes, but here is the thing, I know coming from my father its BS because he was the outgoing, womanizer, partier type back in his days, but my mother enjoyed going to school.)
    
61. Your parents buy you clothes and shoes many sizes too big so you can "grow into it" and wear it for years to come." (Not many sizes, but but maybe one size above. Like dress shoes would hurt, so thus why they recommend one size up) --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now it seems that my parents are "asians" that got westernized, but I'm definitely not asian. What do you think?